Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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