He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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