Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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