You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
