Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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