tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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