Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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