i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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