I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i dont even know how to be here
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
