Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
