I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
