Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
