WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
