well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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