it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We left an ass print on the piano.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
