I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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