so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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