So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize