This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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