Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
