We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
