I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
