i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
