they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
