yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize