no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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