did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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