btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
