they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
