that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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