Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
