i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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