He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
