He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?