Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?