You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.