...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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