you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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