good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
