is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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