whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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