There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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