He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
