Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
