So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
