I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
