White coat. Heels.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
