Dual....:-)
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
