A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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