I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
