Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize