I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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