I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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