He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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