Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
