I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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