honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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