i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
