he thought i was a dude.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
