so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
